ABC, Season Premiere: 20, 2010; 8 pm
ABC's paella of spray-tans, sequins and flop sweat returns for its 11th season. While this season's roster is clearly a notch or two less stellar than that of past season's, we still can't get enuf.
Here is a handicapper's guide to this year's field:
Bristol Palin with Mark Ballas; Vegas odds to win: 35-1.
Palin is neither a performer nor an athlete, and folks in that category don't usually excel. (Kate Gosselin's horrendous performance last season is the best example). And Couch Potato Cop was further disheartened to see Bristol display absolutely no rhythm during a guest spot on Jay Leno. Even during the ABC press conference announcing the new cast, she appeared stiff and uncomfortable. One bright spot: she was paired with two-time champion Mark Ballas, who is a master of hiding his partner's short-comings. It will be interesting to see if the voting falls under Red State/Blue State lines.
Kyle Massey with Lacy Schwimmer; Vegas odds to win: 30-1. Massey is largely unknown to anyone over age 12, as he appears on some Disney Channel Show. The kid displayed some moxie during the ABC press conference by throwing down the gauntlet and challenging Michael Bolton & David Hasselhoff. Hey, you don't hassle the Hoff !
Margaret Cho with Louis Van Amstel, Vegas odds to win: 25-1. Cho is easily the most fascinating member of the cast, filling the 'edgy comedian / Adam Carolla' role. It will be interesting to see if the outspoken, bisexual gay rights activist tones down her schtick in deference to the broad "DwtS" demographic. I'm guessing her introductory package in the premiere will downplay her edgy act and we'll get more wholesome clips from Cho's squeaky-clean '94 ABC sitcom "All American Girl". We're also guessing that Cho will present a PG-13 version of herself, much like Carolla did.
Audrina Patridge with Tony Dovolani; Vegas odds to win: 20-1. Patridge is known for MTV reality show 'The Hills' & a Carl, Jr's TV commercial. Oh, and there were a few nude photos that turned up on the 'net. Not quite a star, but 'DwtS' takes what it can get. Tony Dovolani has to be happy to be paired up with anyone not named Kate Gosselin.
Kurt Warner with Anna Trebunskaya; Vegas odds to win: 16-1. NFL stars have a better-than-solid track record: Emmit Smith, Jerry Rice, Warren Sapp & Jason Taylore all went deep into the competition. Warner himself acknowledged this, but noted that he is the first quarter-back on 'DwtS' and doesn't consider himself the athlete his colleagues were. Fair enough.
Florence Henderson with Corky Ballas; Vegas odds to win: 15-1. Seventy-four year old Henderson obviously fills the 'Cloris Leachman' role in the cast, with the obvious difference that Henderson has a song-and-dance background. Interesting to note is that Henderson campaigned for a spot on the show with 'DwtS' producers for several seasons before finally making the cut. It seems that there's a quota of exactly one senior citizen per season.
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino with Karina Smirnoff; Vegas odds to win: 11-1.
Sorrentino, famous solely for "Jersey Shore", is extending his 15 minutes, which is absolutely the right play. Hey, the guy isn't an actor, singer, dancer or writer, so might as well grab anything while the iron is hot. His pairing with the sassy Karina Smirnoff is guaranteed to cause fireworks.
Michael Bolton with Chelsie Hightower; Vegas odds to win: 9 to 1
I had purged from my memory the fact that Michael Bolton ever existed; now I gotta wrap my head around the fact that he's still out there. yewww ! The fact that he'll be paired with the lovely & spunky Chelsie Hightower will make it a little less bitter pill to swallow.
Brandy with Maksim Chmerkovskiy; Vegas odds to win: 7-1. A musical background and being 30- to 40- years younger than her main competitors makes Brandy a clear favorite. Being paired with the Badboy of the Ballroom doesn't hurt.
David Hasselhoff with Kym Johnson; Vegas odds to win: 6-1
If Germany rocks the vote, the Hoff can walk off with the Mirror Ball Trophy.
Jennifer Gray with Derek Hough; Vegas odds to win: 5-1
I don't put too much stock in the fact that Gray starred in "Dirty Dancing" so therefore she has an edge. That was a quarter of a century ago. Plus, it was a movie -- multiple takes til you get it right. She does have a great partner in the tw0-time champion Derek Hough.
Rick Fox with Cheryl Burke; Vegas odds to win: 4-1
Fox has been deemed by Vegas as the favorite, based soley on his NBA career. But as we've seen with Clyde Drexler a few seasons ago, being a hoops star doesn't necessarily translate to the tango. Still, Cheryl Burke will be a drill seargent during rehearsals.
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