Monday, March 21, 2011

Season Preview : Dancing with the Stars

ABC's highly-rated paella of sequins, spray tans, flop sweat and dazzling D-list celebrities returns for a 12th season, and Couch Potato Cop can't wait.
Say what you will about "Dancing with the Stars", but the producers have hit on a winning formula: it almost doesn't matter who the celebrities are in a given season.
Still, there have been a few tweaks for the upcoming season. There will only be 11 couples (they've had as many as 16 in the past).
Gone, also, is the "designated senior citizen", a role filled in past seasons by Cloris Leachman, Buzz Aldrin and Florence Henderson.
Also notably absent: no dancers with political party ties. Last season, Britstol Palin was an OK dancer who hung around until the finals. The ridiculous controversies that ensued -- Is the voting rigged ?!!; Is the show too Republican ?!! -- polarized viewers and deflected attention from the actual dancing.
Couch Potato Cop notes that there is no clear-cut favorite, unlike last year when Jennifer Gray was lock from the get-go.
Having a wide-open tournament for the famed Mirror Ball Trophy -- the Stanley Cup of reality television -- should make for interesting viewing.
Here is a cheat sheet for the upcoming season. Note: the odds listed were posted by Las Vegas book-makers, not Couch Potato Cop. Please wager responsibly.

Kirstie Alley, 60, with pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy; odds 9 to 1.
ABC execs view Alley as their best "get" in this cast, and have given her the most promotion. I'm watching to see how long it will take before the sassy actress has a falling out with the occasionally high-strung Chmerkovskiy, known for not taking any guff from his celeb partners.
Alley has said that she's doing the show in part to lose an additional 60 pounds. She probably should have signed up for "The Biggest Loser" in stead. Cheers !

Ralph Macchio, 49, with pro Karina Smirnoff; odds 3.5 to 1
This answers the question, whatever happened to Ralph Macchio ?
But I have a better question: in 3 different "Karate Kid" movies, why did so many different people want to kick his ass ? After a while, a guy has to think: "maybe it's not them, it's me."
Despite that, we're rooting for "Daniel-san" to honor his Sensei Mr. Miyagi with a victory. And we're also rooting for Russian spitfire Smirnoff to get her first Mirror Ball Trophy.

Sugar Ray Leonard, 54, with pro Anna Trebunskaya; odds 6 to 1
Twenty-five years ago, this would have been a huge "get". Pound-for-pound Leonard was one of the best boxers of all time and an incredible athlete. It looks like Sugar Ray kept himself in tremendous shape so if I had to place a bet, here is where I'd put my money.

Mike Catherwood, 31, with pro Lacey Schwimmer; odds 14 to 1.
Each season, there's at least one name on the roster that makes you go "Who?" Matter of fact, I just Googled Catherwood and the screen said, "We don't know. Ask Yahoo." Apparently he's a DJ in LA with the nickname "Psycho Mike"; basically a very poor man's Adam Carola.

Petra Nemcova, 31, with pro Dmitry Chaplin, odds 14 to 1.
Nemcova is an officially-certified Supermodel who survived the tsunami of Phuket, Thailand.
In fact, Nemcova almost bailed on "Dancing with the Stars" at the last minute to assist the people of Japan. ABC producers convinced Nemcova that she could help those affected in Japan by staying on the show and raising awareness and charitable contributions.

Hines Ward, 35, with pro Kym Johnson, odds 4.5 to 1.
Ward is the second active football player to appear on the show, although he is contemplating retirement and might never step on the gridiron again. We have to like his chances, given the success past NFLers have had on the show. That, and he's paired with Australian dynamo Kym Johnson.

Chelsea Kane, 22, with pro Mark Ballas; odds 4.5 to 1.
File this one under "corporate synergy"; each season, a little-know actor from the Disney Channel is added to the cast. Well, ABC is not going to promote an actor under contract to rivals CBS or NBC. We don't know who Kane is, put pro partner Mark Ballas is a two-time champ.

Romeo Miller (formerly Lil' Romeo), 21 with pro Chelsea Hightower; odds 5.5 to 1.
Longtime "DwtS" viewers will remember Romeo's dad Master P from Season 2 -- as much as they'd like to forget. The story goes that Lil' Romeo was signed to do the show but got injured at the last minute and Master P reluctantly stepped in -- and went on to become one of the most horrendous dancers in "DwtS" history. Romeo says that he wants to redeem the family honor.

Chris Jericho, 3, with pro Cheryl Burke; odds 10 to 1.
Jericho is a WWE rassler, which actually puts him at a huge advantage: he's done years of live television and he's no stranger to spandex.

Wendy Williams, 46, with pro Tony Dovolani; odds 7 to 1.
Williams has more wigs than Elton John, and we'll see a number of 'em depending on how long she lasts. Let's hope against hope that she phases out her tired catchphrase "How you doin'?"
That was stale even back when Matt LeBlanc stopped using it 7 years ago.

Kendra Wilkinson, 35, with pro Louis Van Amstel; odds 3 to 1.
Forgive us if we can't keep straight who's who in Hugh Hefner's modern day harem of concubines. One of Wilkinson's goals is to last longer than her "frienemy" Holly Madison, who didn't fare too well as a last-minute replacement on "DwtS" a few seasons back.

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